Kai’s First Doctor Visit

Kai’s doctor visit today went great! He is a tall boy, 61cm. Of 100 guys his age, he would be in the top 5 for height. He’s also a lightweight at 5640 grams, in the top 30 of 100. First vaccines done too!

ps. Ang had her final after-baby check-up. Everything is healed and healthy!

 

Smiling

June 19, 2012.  Mark the date :) That is the day that Kai looked up at me and offered his first real smile (not gas-induced). It was so precious as he looked into my eyes.

6 weeks old. Mark the date- first all-night sleep :) Thank you Kai for being the great sleeper that you are. Eat, Wake, Sleep… yea!

Just Like Daddy

 

Anyone who knows Ben knows that he is the typical younger brother. He loves to bug people, tease them, and drive them a little crazy (especially if they have a good sense of humour). Well, Jay is just like his daddy. He loves to bug Cassie already. It causes many little squabbles, but underneath it all Cassie loves Jay’s attention!

He also loves being like his daddy as he kicks the soccer ball around and wears a big boy tie! Thanks cousin Noah for the tie!

Rest Time

About 6 weeks ago we found that Cassie’s afternoon nap was starting to affect her night time sleep, but we decided that afternoons would still consist of a rest time for her.

2:00pm – She begins by lying in her top bunk reading books (well, kind of reading, kind of looking at pictures). After Jay falls asleep below her she is allowed to come down and play quietly. Two hours is a long time for her to play alone (she is a BIG extrovert), but it is so good for her and her imagination. She plays ‘school’ with her dolls, sets up the farm animals, enjoys her play mobile set, does puzzles and colours.

Right now ‘quiet’ play is actually quite loud. She is ‘leading’ the singing at her pretend church. Good thing Jay has already woken up. Now they will play together in their room until rest time is over at 4:00pm. Hopefully without any screaming or fighting. Ah… siblings :)

Welcome Basket- Soup Anyone?

Our friends are out of town for a little while so we are planning to leave a small welcome home basket in their apartment for when they return. We were thinking some fruit, chocolate, maybe a few canned drinks.

Today as we told our Ukrainian friend about our plans to put a little welcome basket in their place she asked us, ‘Will it be Borscht?’ (the local Ukrainian soup). We laughed at how two countries customs can be so different. Yum! Borscht would be a great welcome home gift!

Happy Fathers Day

Hey Dad!

I just wanted to write you a little note and say I love you and I’m so thankful for you!
Since you’ve been gone I’ve been trying to include Jay and Cas in more things I do, not just getting the jobs done but trying to let them be a part of it. I’m still not very good at it, but every day I do a little bit better. :) Thanks for helping me see that developing them and our relationship is more important than just finishing a task.
You’re a great dad!

Hope you’re not too crazy busy and that you’re sort of enjoying being back home – try not to over do it.
Love you!
Benjo

Inย Praise of Inefficiency

byย Timothy Paul Jones

I saw something beautiful the other day while walking down Breckenridge Lane. In a front yard not far from my home, a young mother was removing a layer of leftover leaves from the fall in preparation for planting spring flowersโ€”an ordinary activity in the middle of an ordinary day.

What was extraordinary about this scene was what I saw beside this young woman.

A tow-haired boy, perhaps three or four years old, was attempting to assist her. His rake was man-sized, his movements were far from efficient, and he was leaving more leaves than he moved. Yet, as I passed this mother and child, I heard no criticisms. Instead, I heard a constant stream of encouragement: โ€œDaddy will be so proud of your hard work! Can you try to get those leaves over there? You know, honey, it might work better if you turned the rake over.โ€

If this womanโ€™s sole goal for the afternoon was leaf removal, her best bet would have been to plop her preschooler in front of a television to watch professionally-produced childrenโ€™s programs that pretend to equip children with skills for life while leaching away their capacity for meaningful relationships. If this mother had chosen this option, she could have pursued the goal of planting spring flowers far more efficiently.

But this woman had a goal that was far bigger than any flower-bed.

This woman understood that her deeper purpose on this day was not to improve a yard but to shape a soul. She was teaching her child the value of work and partnership and family structures, in addition to the quite crucial skill of knowing which side of a rake is supposed to face the ground. She was an amateur, in the best and oldest sense of the word โ€œamateurโ€: a person who engages in a particular activity because of love. She most likely possessed no transcripted credential in the fields of motherhood or leaf removal. But that was all for the best anyway because no credential could develop in a child what this mother was engraving in her sonโ€™s soul that afternoon.


::ย Equippingย Myย Brothersย andย Sisters,ย theย Neglectedย Roleย ofย Churchย Leadersย ::

So what does all of this have to do with church leadership?

Simply this: If youโ€™re a church leader trying to train parents to embrace their role as disciple-makers in their childrenโ€™s lives, you are likely to wonder at some point, โ€œWouldnโ€™t it be more efficient for hired professionals to disciple children through church programs instead of expecting parents to participate in this process? No matter how many times I encourage and equip the moms and dads, some of them donโ€™t even seem to be trying! Even the ones that try donโ€™t always do a good job. Why constantly acknowledge the parents as primary disciple-makers when so many of them do it so poorly? This is so inefficient!โ€

If thatโ€™s the way you feel, youโ€™re partly correct! If your goal is organizational efficiency, equipping parents to disciple their children may be an inefficient use of your time, and turning over childrenโ€™s spiritual lives to professionals at church might make perfect sense.

But efficiency is not the goal of gospel-motivated ministry.

The crucified and risen Lord Jesus determines the shape and establishes the goal for his church, and it has been his Fatherโ€™s good pleasure to constitute his church as a conglomeration of amateurs, not as a corporation managed by professionals (1 Cor 12:4โ€“31). His Spirit does not give gifts for the purpose of making the church efficient. The Holy Spirit arranges gifts in the body according to his will in order to make his people holy (1 Cor 12:11).

The role of God-called leaders is to encourage and to equip their brothers and sisters in their communities of faith to serve as ministers and missionaries first within their own households, and then far beyond their households (Acts 2:39; Eph 4:11โ€“13). These processes are not likely to be quick or efficient. Sometimes, it will feel as if professionalized programs would be an easier solution, but no church program can develop in a child what parents are able to engrave in their childrenโ€™s souls day-by-day. And so, despite the apparent inefficiency of expecting parents to disciple their own children, family-equipping ministers persist in their passion for training fathers and mothers as the primary disciple-makers in their childrenโ€™s lives.


::ย Divinely-Designatedย Amateurย Disciple-Makers,ย theย Neglectedย Roleย ofย Christianย Parentsย ::

In the early twentieth century, a journalist namedย G.K. Chestertonย offered these comments about the British and American jury system:

The trend of our epoch up to this time has been consistently towards specialism and professionalism. We tend to have trained soldiers because they fight better, trained singers because they sing better, trained dancers because they dance better, specially
instructed laughers because they laugh better, and so on and so on. โ€ฆ [Yet] our civilization has decided, and very justly decided, that determining the guilt or innocence of men is a thing too important to be trusted to trained men. When it wishes for light upon that awful matter, it asks men who know no more law than I know, but who can feel the things that I felt in the jury box. When it wants a library catalogued, or the solar system discovered, or any trifle of that kind, it uses up specialists. But when it wishes anything done which is really serious, it collects twelve of the ordinary men standing round. The same thing was done, if I remember right, by the Founder of Christianity.

A similar statement might be made regarding the training of children to respond to the gospel day-by-day. Though professionals may certainly partner with parents in this task, such a serious undertaking is too significant to be relinquished to professionals, too profound to be befuddled by a focus on efficiency. The formation of a childโ€™s faith is not a skill for specialists. It is a habit to be developed in the lives of divinely-designated amateurs, and these amateurs are known as โ€œDadโ€ and โ€œMom.โ€

In my childhood, one of the most significant habits that shaped my soul was a single, simple pattern that required no special skills, no particular curriculum. Each night, my mother came into my room, sat on the side of my bed, and listened to me pray.

What was significant about this wasnโ€™t so much the praying, which was pretty much the same every night. It was the conversations about life that arose in the context of prayerโ€”coupled with the fact that I had to face my mother every evening, regardless of what I might have done during the day.

At some point in early adolescence, I informed my mother that, from that point forward, I could handle praying on my own. Deep inside, I regretted my request even then, and I regret it even more now. In some inexplicable way, knowing that I would have to pray with my mother each night placed a limit on what I was willing to say and to do during the day.

Today, this pattern from my childhood marks the end of each day in the lives of each of my own children. A few months ago, when my teenager suggested that she might not need me to pray with her each night, my response ran something like this: โ€œYou know, I think you are totally able to pray on your own, and I want you to pray on your own as well. But, even though you donโ€™t need my help to pray, I need the reminder every night that God gave you to me and that Iโ€™m responsible to guide you toward him. So, every night, Iโ€™ll still be here to pray with you, no matter what.โ€

Since that moment, my daughter and I have had dozens of important night-time conversations that I might otherwise have missed.

There is no curriculum for this habit. Life itself is the curriculum. There is no special training, only the gift of time given each night. Sometimes it works well, other times it doesnโ€™t. Itโ€™s an inefficient use of time by any earthly standardโ€”but it is a right and good response to Godโ€™s work of grace in our lives.

 

Just Willing – Gladys Aylward

“I wasnโ€™t Godโ€™s first choice for what Iโ€™ve done for China. I donโ€™t know who it was. It must have been a manโ€”a wellโ€“educated man. I donโ€™t know what happened. Perhaps he died. Perhaps he wasnโ€™t willing. And God looked downโ€ฆ and saw Gladys Aylward. And God said, โ€˜Well, sheโ€™s willing.โ€™” โ€“ Gladys Aylward

Don’t Waste Your Life

“And people who do not know the Lord ask why in the world we waste our lives as missionaries. They forget that they too are expending their livesโ€ฆand when the bubble has burst they will have nothing of eternal significance to show for the years they have wasted.”ย – Nate Saint

22 Fun Facts About Ukraine

2012-Jun-08 at 00:56 | Svitlana Tuchynska
** Taken from the Kyiv Postย 

Take a quick lesson on Euro 2012 co-host Ukraine.

It is Ukraine, not “the Ukraine.”

More than half (53 percent) of the population speaks Ukrainian and 44 percent Russian.

The capital, Kyiv, is mostly a Russian-speaking city.

While the population of Ukraine is 45.6 million, at least 10 million Ukrainians live abroad. Most live in Russia (around four million), Kazakhstan, the U.S., Canada, Moldova, Poland, Argentina and Brazil.

The medieval state ofKyivan Rus, with its capital in Kyiv, was founded by the Vikings in 9th century, according to the most popular theory.

Ukraine claims to be home to the geographical center of Europe, which is near the western town of Rakhiv. Other places in Europe claim to have the center, and the definition depends on the methodology used.

During the 10th and 11thcenturies, Kyivan Rus became the largest and most powerful state in Europe, especially during the reign of Yaroslav the Wise who was married to Ingegerd Olofsdotter of Sweden, the daughter ofSwedish King OlofSkotkonung. Their daughters became queens of Norway, France and Hungary.

Parts of Ukraine belonged to different empires for centuries: the Ottoman empire, Poland-Lithuania, Austrian-Hungarian and Russian empire. Ukraine as it is now was formed only in 1954 when the Crimean peninsula became part of the Ukrainian Soviet Socialist Republic.

The dominant religion in the nation is Orthodoxy, followed by Catholicism, Protestantism, Judaism and Islam.

Kyiv Cake, first made in 1956, became the symbol of the city across the Soviet Union and remains popular. The cake consists of layers of meringue, hazelnuts, chocolate glaze and butter cream.

The worldโ€™s heaviest aircraft, theAntonov An-225Mriyawas designed in Ukraine in 1988 and is still manufactured in Kyiv. The aircraft holds the world record for carrying the heaviest ever load.

The Carol of the Bells, the most popular Christmas carol, was originally composed by the Ukrainian composer Mykola Leontovych.

The subway station Arsenalna in the Kyiv city center is the deepest subway station in the world at 105 meters below ground. According to popular belief, Arsenalna was home to secret bunkers for the political elite of Soviet Union.

The Ukrainian currency, hryvnia, derives from the hrivna โ€“ the massive necklace of gold or silver that ancient kings once wore.

With an area of 603,628square kilometers, Ukraine is the second largest contiguous country on the European continent.

Nearly all (99.4 percent) of Ukrainians over 16 years old know how to write and 70 percent of the population has a higher education. However, the quality of education is questionable due to widespread corruption.

Local tradition is to bring an odd number of flowers for a celebration and an even number for funerals.

Bread is consumed with every meal in most Ukrainian families. Some even eat bread with dessert and fruit.
Ukrainians are the fifth-heaviest drinking nation in the world after Moldova, the Czech Republic, Hungary and Russia, according to the World Health Organization.

Some 77 percent of Ukrainians have never been abroad, while 36 percent of Ukrainians have never been outside their region, according to a Research & Branding Group survey.

Many Ukrainians believe that vodka helps treat flu, cold and stomach conditions. A folk recipe is vodka mixed with black pepper and honey or vodka mixed with hot milk and honey.

There are at least 25,000 fortune tellers, magicians and astrologists of all kinds in the country where many people are superstitious.

Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych served two terms in jail. The first time came when he was 17, when he spent three years in prison for robbery. When he was 20 he was convicted again and sentenced to two years in prison for assault. Both convictions were expunged from his record in 1978.

Kyiv Post staff writer Svitlana Tuchynska can be reached atย tuchynska@kyivpost.com

Read more:ย http://www.kyivpost.com/news/euro2012/fan_guide/detail/129015/

No Spiritual Experts

I’m posting this article from Christianity Today because of its relevance to my post on Father’s Day. There is a really great quote below:

Frederick von Hugel said the institution of the church is like the bark on the tree. There’s no life in the bark. It’s dead wood. But it protects the life of the tree within. And the tree grows and grows and grows and grows. If you take the bark off, it’s prone to disease, dehydration, death.

So, yes, the church is dead but it protects something alive. And when you try to have a church without bark, it doesn’t last long. It disappears, gets sick, and it’s prone to all kinds of disease, heresy, and narcissism.

I love it. Maybe its because I grew up going to church and the people within the institution have made a big impact on my life. Maybe I’ve heard enough messages about how God chose the church. Or maybe its because I backlash against new ideas sometimes. Anyway, sometimes its nice to remind myself that the institution of the church is important, even though “it” is also responsible for many terrible things, like crusades, abuse of power, manipulation, greedy people bent on selfish gain. But “it” is also responsible for keeping the Bible around and which is almost perfectly preserved (see just one comparison here), teaching truth generation after generation, changing the world for good, creating schools, pushing for human rights, developing medicine and the list goes on. Sometimes its important to remember that even dead things like bark, or the institution of the church, can be used to save life, like a tree or a person.

 

Spirituality for All the Wrong Reasons

Eugene Peterson talks about lies and illusions that destroy the church.
Interview by Mark Galli
[ posted 3/4/2005 12:00AM ]

Eugene Peterson had a publishing life beforeย The Message. And one could argue that it was his previous publications that led, at least in part, to the renewal of Christian spirituality among pastors and laypeople today. In such books asย Five Smooth Stones for Pastoral Work, Run with the Horses, A Long Obedience in the Same Direction: Discipleship in an Instant Society, andย The Contemplative Pastor: Returning to the Art of Spiritual Direction, Peterson exposed the shallowness of American Christianity and offered a bracing and invigorating alternative.

It is momentous, then, that Peterson has returned to writing about the Christian life withย Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places: A Conversation in Spiritual Theologyย (Eerdmans, 2005). It is the first of a projected five-volume series in which Peterson will systematically pull together themes he has been talking about for three decadesโ€”spiritual formation, Scripture, leadership, the church, pastoring, spiritual direction.

The first volume is a tour de force in spiritual theology, combining incisive cultural analysis and biblical exposition with a sweeping and engaging vision of the Christian life.

All of his writing has emerged out of his work as a pastor, mostly at Christ Our King Presbyterian Church in Bel Air, Maryland, a Baltimore suburb. He was the founding pastor of the church, which grew to some 500 members before he left after 29 years. He went from there to Pittsburgh Theological Seminary and then to Regent College in Vancouver, British Columbia. He is now “retired,” living in his home state of Montana, but he remains at heart a pastor who cares deeply about the Christian life as it is lived in the local church.

As Peterson was finishing the manuscript ofย Christ Plays in Ten Thousand Places, CT managing editor Mark Galli spoke with him about themes that emerged from the book and his life.

What is the most misunderstood aspect of spirituality?

That it’s a kind of specialized form of being a Christian, that you have to have some kind of in. It’s elitist. Many people are attracted to it for the wrong reasons. Others are put off by it:ย I’m not spiritual. I like to go to football games or parties or pursue my career.ย In fact, I try to avoid the word.

Many people assume that spirituality is about becoming emotionally intimate with God.

That’s a naรฏve view of spirituality. What we’re talking about is the Christian life. It’s following Jesus. Spirituality is no different from what we’ve been doing for two thousand years just by going to church and receiving the sacraments, being baptized, learning to pray, and reading Scriptures rightly. It’s just ordinary stuff.

This promise of intimacy is both right and wrong. There is an intimacy with God, but it’s like any other intimacy; it’s part of the fabric of your life. In marriage you don’t feel intimate most of the time. Nor with a friend. Intimacy isn’t primarily a mystical emotion. It’s a way of life, a life of openness, honesty, a certain transparency.

Doesn’t the mystical tradition suggest otherwise?

One of my favorite stories is of Teresa of Avila. She’s sitting in the kitchen with a roasted chicken. And she’s got it with both hands, and she’s gnawing on it, just devouring this chicken. One of the nuns comes in shocked that she’s doing this, behaving this way. She said, “When I eat chicken, I eat chicken; when I pray, I pray.”

If you read the saints, they’re pretty ordinary people. There are moments of rapture and ecstasy, but once every 10 years. And even then it’s a surprise to them. They didn’t do anything. We’ve got to disabuse people of these illusions of what the Christian life is. It’s a wonderful life, but it’s not wonderful in the way a lot of people want it to be.

Yet evangelicals rightly tell people they can have a “personal relationship with God.” That suggests a certain type of spiritual intimacy.

All these words get so screwed up in our society. If intimacy means being open and honest and authentic, so I don’t have veils, or I don’t have to be defensive or in denial of who I am, that’s wonderful. But in our culture, intimacy usually has sexual connotations, with some kind of completion. So I want intimacy because I want more out of life. Very seldom does it have the sense of sacrifice or giving or being vulnerable. Those are two different ways of being intimate. And in our American vocabulary intimacy usually has to do with getting something from the other. That just screws the whole thing up.

It’s very dangerous to use the language of the culture to interpret the gospel. Our vocabulary has to be chastened and tested by revelation, by the Scriptures. We’ve got a pretty good vocabulary and syntax, and we’d better start paying attention to it because the way we grab words here and there to appeal to unbelievers is not very good.

This corruption of the wordย spiritualityย even in Christian circlesโ€”does it have something to do with the New Age movement?

The New Age stuff is old age. It’s been around for a long time. It’s a cheap shortcut toโ€”I guess we have to use the wordโ€”spirituality. It avoids the ordinary, the everyday, the physical, the material. It’s a form of Gnosticism, and it has a terrific appeal because it’s a spirituality that doesn’t have anything to do with doing the dishes or changing diapers or going to work. There’s not much integration with work, people, sin, trouble, inconvenience.

I’ve been a pastor most of my life, for some 45 years. I love doing this. But to tell you the truth, the people who give me the most distress are those who come asking, “Pastor, how can I be spiritual?” Forget about being spiritual. How about loving your husband? Now that’s a good place to start. But that’s not what they’re interested in. How about learning to love your kids, accept them the way they are?

My name shouldn’t even be connected with spirituality.

But it very much is.

I know. Then a few years ago I got this embarrassing position of being a professor of “spiritual theology” at Regent. Now what do you do?

You make spirituality sound so mundane.

I don’t want to suggest that those of us who are following Jesus don’t have any fun, that there’s no joy, no exuberance, no ecstasy. They’re just not what the consumer thinks they are. When we advertise the gospel in terms of the world’s values, we lie to people. We lie to them, because this is a new life. It involves following Jesus. It involves the Cross. It involves death, an acceptable sacrifice. We give up our lives.

The Gospel of Mark is so graphic this way. The first half of the Gospel is Jesus showing people how to live. He’s healing everybody. Then right in the middle, he shifts. He starts showing people how to die: “Now that you’ve got a life, I’m going to show you how to give it up.” That’s the whole spiritual life. It’s learning how to die. And as you learn how to die, you start losing all your illusions, and you start being capable now of true intimacy and love.

It involves a kind of learned passivity, so that our primary mode of relationship is receiving, submitting, instead of giving and getting and doing. We don’t do that very well. We’re trained to be assertive, to get, to apply, or to consume and to perform.

Repentance, dying to self, submissionโ€”these are not very attractive hooks to draw people into the faith.

I think the minute you put the issue that way you’re in trouble. Because then we join the consumer world, and everything then becomes product designed to give you something. We don’t need something more. We don’t need something better. We’re after life. We’re learning how to live.

I think people are fed up with consumer approaches, even though they’re addicted to them. But if we cast the evangel in terms of benefits, we’re setting people up for disappointment. We’re telling them lies.

This is not the way our Scriptures are written. This is not the way Jesus came among us. It’s not the way Paul preached. Where do we get all this stuff? We have a textbook. We have these Scriptures and most of the time they’re saying, “You’re going the wrong way. Turn around. The culture is poisoning.”

Do we realize how almost exactly the Baal culture of Canaan is reproduced in American church culture? Baal religion is about what makes you feel good. Baal worship is a total immersion in what I can get out of it. And of course, it was incredibly successful. The Baal priests could gather crowds that outnumbered followers of Yahweh 20 to 1. There was sex, there was excitement, there was music, there was ecstasy, there was dance. “We got girls over here, friends. We got statues, girls, and festivals.” This was great stuff. And what did the Hebrews have to offer in response? The Word. What’s the Word? Well, Hebrews had festivals, at least!

Still, the one big hook or benefit to Christian faith is salvation, no? “Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved.” Is this not something we can use to legitimately attract listeners?

It’s the biggest word we haveโ€”salvation, being saved. We are saved from a way of life in which there was no resurrection. And we’re being saved from ourselves. One way to define spiritual life is getting so tired and fed up with yourself you go on to something better, which is following Jesus.

But the minute we start advertising the faith in terms of benefits, we’re just exacerbating the self problem. “With Christ, you’re better, stronger, more likeable, you enjoy some ecstasy.” But it’s just more self. Instead, we want to get people bored with themselves so they can start looking at Jesus.

We’ve all met a certain type of spiritual person. She’s a wonderful person. She loves the Lord. She prays and reads the Bible all the time. But all she thinks about is herself. She’s not a selfish person. But she’s always at the center of everything she’s doing. “How can I witness better? How can I do this better? How can I take care of this person’s problem better?” It’s me, me, me disguised in a way that is difficult to see because her spiritual talk disarms us.

So how should we visualize the Christian life?

In church last Sunday, there was a couple in front of us with two bratty kids. Two pews behind us there was another couple with their two bratty kids making a lot of noise. This is mostly an older congregation. So these people are set in their ways. Their kids have been gone a long time. And so it wasn’t a very nice service; it was just not very good worship. But afterwards I saw half a dozen of these elderly people come up and put their arms around the mother, touch the kids, sympathize with her. They could have been irritated.

Now why do people go to a church like that when they can go to a church that has a nursery, is air conditioned, and all the rest? Well, because they’re Lutherans. They don’t mind being miserable! Norwegian Lutherans!

And this same church recently welcomed a young woman with a baby and a three-year-old boy. The children were baptized a few weeks ago. But there was no man with her. She’s never married; each of the kids has a different father. She shows up at church and wants her children baptized. She’s a Christian and wants to follow in the Christian way. So a couple from the church acted as godparents. Now there are three or four couples in the church who every Sunday try to get together with her.

Now, where is the “joy” in that church? These are dour Norwegians! But there’s a lot of joy. There’s an abundant life going, but it’s not abundant in the way a non-Christian would think. I think there’s a lot more going on in churches like this; they’re just totally anticultural. They’re full of joy and faithfulness and obedience and care. But you sure wouldn’t know it by reading the literature of church growth, would you?

But many Christians would look at this church and say it’s dead, merely an institutional expression of the faith.

What other church is there besides institutional? There’s nobody who doesn’t have problems with the church, because there’s sin in the church. But there’s no other place to be a Christian except the church. There’s sin in the local bank. There’s sin in the grocery stores. I really don’t understand this naรฏve criticism of the institution. I really don’t get it.

Frederick von Hugel said the institution of the church is like the bark on the tree. There’s no life in the bark. It’s dead wood. But it protects the life of the tree within. And the tree grows and grows and grows and grows. If you take the bark off, it’s prone to disease, dehydration, death.

So, yes, the church is dead but it protects something alive. And when you try to have a church without bark, it doesn’t last long. It disappears, gets sick, and it’s prone to all kinds of disease, heresy, and narcissism.

In my writing, I hope to recover a sense of the reality of congregationโ€”what it is. It’s a gift of the Holy Spirit. Why are we always idealizing what the Holy Spirit doesn’t idealize? There’s no idealization of the church in the Bibleโ€”none. We’ve got two thousand years of history now. Why are we so dumb?

Since the Reformation, though, we’ve championed the idea that the church can be reformed.

Hasn’t happened. I’m for always reforming, but to think that we can get a church that’s reformed is just silliness.

I think the besetting sin of pastors, maybe especially evangelical pastors, is impatience. We have a goal. We have a mission. We’re going to save the world. We’re going to evangelize everybody, and we’re going to do all this good stuff and fill our churches. This is wonderful. All the goals are right. But this is slow, slow work, this soul work, this bringing people into a life of obedience and love and joy before God.

And we get impatient and start taking shortcuts and use any means available. We talk about benefits. We manipulate people. We bully them. We use language that is just incredibly impersonalโ€”bullying language, manipulative language.

One doesn’t normally think of churches as bullying.

Whenever guilt is used as a tool to get people to do anythingโ€”good, bad, indifferentโ€”it’s bullying. And then there’s manipulative languageโ€”to talk people into programs, to get them involved, usually by promising them something.

I have a friend who is an expert at this sort of thing. He’s always saying, “You’ve got to identify people’s felt needs. Then you construct a program to meet the felt needs.” It’s pretty easy to manipulate people. We’re so used to being manipulated by the image industry, the publicity industry, and the politicians that we hardly know we’re being manipulated.

This impatience to leave the methods of Jesus in order to get the work of Jesus done is what destroys spirituality, because we’re using a non-biblical, non-Jesus way to do what Jesus did. That’s why spirituality is in such a mess as it is today.

But many pastors see people suffering in bad marriages, with drug addiction, with greed. And so they rightly want to help them now, by whatever method will work.

Yes, except something backfires on you when you’re impatient. How do we meet the need? Do we do it in Jesus’ way or do we do it the Wal-Mart way?

Spirituality is not about ends or benefits or things; it’s about means. It’s aboutย howย you do this. How do you live in reality?

So, how do you help all these people? The needs are huge. Well, you do it the way Jesus did it. You do it one at a time. You can’t do gospel work, kingdom work in an impersonal way.

We live in the Trinity. Everything we do has to be in the context of the Trinity, which means personally, relationally. The minute you start doing things impersonally, functionally, mass oriented, you deny the gospel. Yet that’s all we do.

Jesus is the Truth and the Life, but first he’s the Way. We can’t do Jesus’ work in the Devil’s way.

I get exercised about this because many pastors are getting castrated by these methodologies, which are impersonal. There’s no relationship to them. And so they become performance oriented and successful. It’s pretty easy in our culture, at least if you’re tall and have a big smile. And they lose their soul. There’s nothing to them after 20 years. Or they crash. They try all this stuff and it doesn’t work, and they quit, or quit and start doing something else. Probably 90 percent of the affairs that pastors have are not due to lust, but boredom with not having this romantic kind of life they thought they’d get.

What if we were to frame this not in terms of needs but relevance? Many Christians hope to speak to generation X or Y or postmoderns, or some subgroup, like cowboys or bikersโ€”people for whom the typical church seems irrelevant.

When you start tailoring the gospel to the culture, whether it’s a youth culture, a generation culture or any other kind of culture, you have taken the guts out of the gospel. The gospel of Jesus Christ is not the kingdom of this world. It’s a different kingdom.

My son Eric organized a new church six years ago. The Presbyterians have kind of a boot camp for new church pastors where you learn what you’re supposed to do. So Eric went. One of the teachers there said he shouldn’t put on a robe and a stole: “You get out there and you meet this generation where they are.”

So Eric, being a good student and wanting to please his peers, didn’t wear a robe. His church started meeting in a high-school auditorium. He started out by wearing a business suit every Sunday. But when the first Sunday of Advent rolled around, and they were going to have Communion, he told me, “Dad, I just couldn’t do it. So I put my robe on.”

Their neighbors, Joel and his wife, attended his church. Joel was the stereotype of the person the new church development was designed forโ€”suburban, middle management, never been to church, totally secular. Eric figured he was coming because they were neighbors, or because he liked him. After that Advent service, he asked Joel what he thought of his wearing a robe.

He said, “It made an impression. My wife and I talked about it. I think what we’re really looking for is sacred space. We both think we found it.”

I think relevance is a crock. I don’t think people care a whole lot about what kind of music you have or how you shape the service. They want a place where God is taken seriously, where they’re taken seriously, where there is no manipulation of their emotions or their consumer needs.

Why did we get captured by this advertising, publicity mindset? I think it’s destroying our church.

But someone else might walk into Eric’s church, see him with his robe, and walk out, thinking the whole place was too religious, too churchy.

So why are they going if it’s not going to be religious? What do they go to church for?

Of course, there’s another aspect to this. If you’re going to a church where everybody’s playing a religious role, that’s going to be off putting. But that performance mentality, role mentality can be seen in the cowboy church or whateverโ€”everybody is performing a role there, too.

But we’re involved with something that has a huge mystery to it. Are we going to wipe out all the mystery so we can be in control of it? Isn’t reverence at the very heart of the worship of God?

And if we present a rendition of the faith in which all the mystery is removed, and there’s no reverence, how are people ever going to know there’s something more than just their own emotions, their own needs? There’s something a lot bigger than my needs that’s going on. How do I ever get to that if the church service and worship program is all centered on my needs?

Some people would argue that it’s important to have a worship service in which people feel comfortable so they can hear the gospel.

I think they’re wrong. Take the story I told you about this family in front of us on Sunday. Nobody was comfortable. The whole church was miserable.

And yet, they might have experienced more gospel in going up and putting their arms around that poor mother, who was embarrassed to death.

How do we know when they have moved from merely adapting ministry to the culture to sacrificing the gospel?

One test I think is this: Am I working out of the Jesus story, the Jesus methods, the Jesus way? Am I sacrificing relationship, personal attention, personal relationship for a shortcut, a program so I can get stuff done? You can’t do Jesus’ work in a non-Jesus way and get by with itโ€”although you can be very “successful.”

One thing that I think is characteristic of me is I stay local. I’m rooted in a pastoral life, which is an ordinary life. So while all this glitter and image of spirituality is going around, I feel quite indifferent to it, to tell you the truth. And I’m somewhat suspicious of it because it seems to be uprooted, not grounded in local conditions, which are the only conditions in which you can live a Christian life.

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