Moving to Budapest
Our 90 days are almost up here in Norway, so we have been really on a decision-making journey. It has not been easy. We did not anticipate needing to be making these kinds of decisions this year. We were hoping the war would be over by now and it would be safe to return to Kyiv, but sadly this is not the case.
We have decided we will stay in Europe so that we can be closer to our YWAM Kyiv staff in proximity. We are on the leadership team for the base as well as we lead our Bible teaching team, even if we are doing so remotely. We take that responsibility seriously and we have a commitment to fulfill. We have also taken seriously our children’s education and safety. After looking at many different schooling options, we have chosen to move to Budapest, Hungary for the year. They have a great school that our children can attend that is very similar to the school that they have been at in Kyiv.
So what will we do there? We have been in touch with the base director of YWAM. We aren’t sure exactly what it will all look like. We will continue to do our work with YWAM Kyiv (this looks like a lot of emailing, zoom calls, administrative work, social posting, and prayer), and we will continue to teach people how to study and apply the Bible to their lives (in partnership with YWAM Budapest). Ben may have a role with helping at the kid’s school in the area of math. We are trusting it will all work out well and we will see where the Lord will use us in Budapest.
We plan to move to Budapest once our paper work goes through, so we will wait in Cluj, Romania until we are approved for a long-term visa for Hungary. This will likely happen at some point this summer.
Gathering together – good for the soul!
This past week Angela (along with a team of others) had the opportunity to bring together staff from all of the different Bible courses YWAM runs all over Europe. We invited Ron Smith who founded the School of Biblical Studies (now run in over 50 locations around the world) as our guest speaker. It was a very exciting and encouraging time. The best part of it all was that half of our Bible team from Ukraine were there together. It was the first time since we have left Ukraine due to the war. It wasn’t all of us (some are in America and some are in Ukraine) but it was a good group of us and there were definitely tears and hugs!
First Mother’s Day
I love this photo of me with my mom and brother. On this first mother’s day without my mom I was reminded of these words by Anne of Green Gables when she loses her adopted father Matthew.
“Anne, new to grief, thought it almost sad that it could be so—that they COULD go on in the old way without Matthew. She felt something like shame and remorse when she discovered that the sunrises behind the firs and the pale pink buds opening in the garden gave her the old inrush of gladness when she saw them—that Diana’s visits were pleasant to her and that Diana’s merry words and ways moved her to laughter and smiles—that, in brief, the beautiful world of blossom and love and friendship had lost none of its power to please her fancy and thrill her heart, that life still called to her with many insistent voices.
“It seems like disloyalty to Matthew, somehow, to find pleasure in these things now that he has gone,” she said wistfully to Mrs. Allan one evening when they were together in the manse garden. “I miss him so much—all the time—and yet, Mrs. Allan, the world and life seem very beautiful and interesting to me for all. Today Diana said something funny and I found myself laughing. I thought when it happened I could never laugh again. And it somehow seems as if I oughtn’t to.”
“When Matthew was here he liked to hear you laugh and he liked to know that you found pleasure in the pleasant things around you,” said Mrs. Allan gently. “He is just away now; and he likes to know it just the same. I am sure we should not shut our hearts against the healing influences that nature offers us. But I can understand your feeling. I think we all experience the same thing. We resent the thought that anything can please us when someone we love is no longer here to share the pleasure with us, and we almost feel as if we were unfaithful to our sorrow when we find our interest in life returning to us.”
Happy Mother’s Day Mom, still miss you more than ever, but still being adventurous and loving the beauty in the world and in relationships because I know that would bring you joy. Xoxo
An Overview of the Bible
The Bible is really incredible! Seriously, if you have never read it, you should! It is the #1 seller in the world. However, because it is made up of 66 books, it can be a bit confusing to figure out the overarching story, or meta-narrative. Ben is helping these students from all over the world (Africa, India, Europe & America mostly) see the big picture. So thankful to YWAM Rogaland for the chance to be a blessing here as well as for their sincere warm welcome.
Love the Lord your God
The Lord desires relationship with you and with me. That is the overarching theme of scripture, from the beginning in the garden, to the choosing of a people that will walk in faith and relationship with God (rather than the idols around them) and shine to the people around them so that they desire a relationship with that same God as well, to the sending of his son Jesus so that we can be in relationship with God, to the very end where God vanquishes and judges evil, and people can live in perfect relationship with a Holy God.
That is why he asks for love… love for him and others. Because God is love and he just wants us to walk with him, not ignoring him and doing our own thing all day long.
So as we are here in Norway, wanting to pray and ask the Lord, where does he want us after these 3 months? He has replied back to our hearts: before He leads us onto next steps, we need to be sure to stop and make sure we are seeking to love him alone, not just his plans for us, not just our next steps, but him. He is not a fortune teller or a vending machine that we get to just always take from, but He is the God of the universe, who is actually amazingly intimately involved in each person’s life, including ours, and our children’s lives.
So that has been a good reminder, a reorienting during this time, like pulling out a compass and making sure it is pointing in the right direction. Where to next? We don’t know, but that isn’t really the point, is it?
A short update on us in Norway
When praying about what to do right now as we had to leave Ukraine, we felt that we should stay in Europe and that we should continue with our calling as Bible teachers, helping others to understand how to study the Bible. So here we are in Norway, doing that very thing, while all the time praying for Ukraine. I (Angela) am actually in charge of media and communications for YWAM Kyiv, since most of our team who usually do that job are in Kyiv serving daily with more pressing needs. Ben is still working with the accounting of YWAM Kyiv, but we are also seeking to be a blessing to this place by teaching, grading homework, etc (there are 21 students from many different nations in the school). The kids are involved here too. Jay sweeps the stairs to the dorms every day, Kai (and one of us parents) does dinner clean up, Cassie is cleaning the woman’s bathroom. Cassie has also had the opportunity to bake for large events with another of the staff here as well.
We are still praying and hoping to back to Kyiv when the war ends. There will be many needs at that point, but first the war must end. Please pray. When and what our future will hold is still a bit foggy, but we are just in the waiting time, and that is okay.
Like no other year
Ben and I were talking about how this has been a year like none other we have ever experienced in our marriage.
It was about 10 months ago that we travelled home to Winnipeg for the summer. During that time we found out that my mom was sick and wouldn’t be getting better. That put us into a period of uncertainty. We would, of course, stay in Winnipeg to be with her, but we couldn’t plan the timing. We simply lived day to day, trying to spend as much time as possible with my mom. People would ask when we would be going back to Ukraine, and we didn’t know. We booked plane tickets for January but weren’t sure we would use them. She passed away in October, 2021.
In January, when we did go back to Ukraine, we didn’t know what would be happening with Russia. Were these troops and equipment just war games? Would it be more? Now that the war has happened, again we have the questions, how long will it be? We don’t know.
We cannot plan and that has been difficult for us because, well, we are planners. We like to have forward momentum and we like to know where we will be and what we will be doing. But the book of James is a book of wisdom literature in the New Testament. That means that as we read it, we can read principles that help us live life well if we rightly apply them. James 4:13-17 says “Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.
Another book of wisdom in the Bible is Proverbs. Proverbs 16:9 says, “In their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.”
So here we are, we have a little plan: go to Rogaland and help the BCC there. It was out of our view even just a few weeks ago, but after praying, here we are, arriving in Rogaland, Norway tomorrow. So we are learning even more humility and hopefully wisdom. Planning is important and good, but must always be held lightly with full submission to the Lord.
Not only that, but sometimes it is hard to make plans. I love to plan, but there are times when there just isn’t a plan, and it isn’t the right time to make one. When we left Ukraine on the morning of the war and arrived in Romania, we knew we would need to decide what to do from there, but we couldn’t make any decisions. Stress was too high. We stayed there day after day, helping how we could. When people would ask us what we were going to do next, we didn’t have an answer, and for many days, it didn’t feel right to make a plan. We needed to just wait. Wait for ourselves to be at the right place to pray, to listen, to think. Wait for the Lord to heal emotions inside of ourselves. We eventually got to that place, but waiting was an important part of the process that couldn’t be rushed.
I’ve been reading Psalms every day since we returned to Ukraine. Many Psalms speak about waiting, “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.” Psalms 27:14. There is action in the waiting. Being Strong, Taking heart- these are not passive, but active – I find that by prayer, reading the Bible, spending time with others who encourage me, worshipping the Lord through singing, remembering God’s faithfulness, all of these things are active and help me with being strong and taking heart.
So wherever you may be today- waiting for plans to be made, or have plans already, I hope you are encouraged. God is in both of those places, and with humility we can find peace and contentment whether in the waiting, or the planning.
I wait for Ukraine to have victory. I plan to go back after BCC in Rogaland. I hold all of that lightly with the knowledge that God is sovereign and He will guide our family’s steps according to His ways, not ours.
The only plan that I can have the most confidence is in the day of the Lord’s judgment. The Bible talks about how Jesus will return on the final day, and all will be made right. That is the surest thing I can depend on. James 5:7-9 “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near. Don’t grumble against one another, brothers and sisters, or you will be judged. The Judge is standing at the door!” As I see the war in Ukraine, this verse brings me more comfort than ever before.
On The Road.
We have been driving…and driving…and driving! It has been good though. We have enjoyed seeing different sites in Europe, and also just having time to think, pray and talk. One challenge has been that I (Angela) was teaching Romans in Aqueduct (3 evening sessions) and so was preparing and teaching on the road. It is such a good book and I really enjoyed the chance to teach it, but I wouldn’t recommend doing a road trip at the same time as teaching! We still have a few more days of travel ahead of us and then we are looking forward to settling into a place and creating a bit more routine until June. Please continue to pray for the war to end.
Latest Newsletter
Trying to sit down and write this newsletter is really hard. Where to start? February 24 is a date that will always be burned into our memories. The day our friend called at 7:15am and said, “It started.” By 8:00am we had our one suitcase packed and we were in the car on the way to the border.
The past three weeks have been… hard…sad…sleepless. The English language seems incapable to describe all of the feelings.
Every morning and evening we check in with our friends, are they still alive? Is our house and the rest of the base still standing? The kids school? At the same time, deep inside is a peace and joy that can’t be affected by circumstances and this is because of God’s work in our lives. We even have hope that somehow this will all end soon. If it doesn’t, we have peace that our work in Ukraine to this point has fruitful and we trust there will be more to do at some point. We love Ukraine. We love the people. We love the work we do. 12 years ago when we moved to Kyiv, we didn’t know this was in our future, but God did and He has faithfully held our family in His hands.
We are grateful for all of the prayers for our other ‘home country.’ For all of the emails. For all of the support. We all feel a bit helpless in this situation, but my friend Anya reminded me that we can use our two arms – one arm to pray and the other arm to reach out and help in whatever ways we can.
The photo I found online. It’s one of the apartment buildings in Kyiv after a missile strike
At the beginning of the war, we were hoping it would end quickly. Sanctions would be put in place, Russia would withdraw and then we could go back. Now it seems that the war might go on for awhile yet. Of course we still pray for miracles and a quick end to this complete inhumanity.
We have decided that for a bit of stability for our children during this time we will be moving to a different location for the next three months. We want to remain in Europe, and we still want to use our gifts and follow in the path to which we have been called. There is a short version of the Bible course we run in Kyiv. It is 3 months instead of 9 and it is running in Norway starting next week.
After praying and checking with our leaders, we have decided to help them with that Bible course from April to June. Actually, Ben will be on staff for the school, but Angela will continue being in charge of the social communications for YWAM Kyiv as well as helping the kids with their online school work.
Our time in Cluj-Napoca, Romania was beyond description (photo above is lunch with the refugees today). We have been loved, cared for, provided for, and supported in so many ways. We will never be able to really show the appreciation we have deeply enough.
Our new friends here knew that we had many commitments still with YWAM Kyiv, as well as supporting our children so they didn’t have any expectations for us. However, they also knew that helping with small things like sorting clothes for refugees, helping clean up after meals, preparing meals, driving people from place to place would be life giving for us and that it would help us to process everything, so they let us help as we were able.
It is amazing how after just three weeks here, it will be hard to leave our new friends. We will be leaving next week Friday and we hope that our next time here will be under different circumstances (photo below drawn by a refugee child here in Romania).
We will continue to keep our website updated as well as use the social platforms of Instagram and Facebook. We encourage you if you already use those social media platforms to also follow YWAM Kyiv to stay up to date on our team that is in Ukraine working hard there to help people with humanitarian aid. YWAM Cluj is also very active in helping the Ukrainian refugees that are coming from YWAM Ternopil in Ukraine. If you would like to follow their work on facebook here is their profile: facebook.com/elsmcluj
With all of our love, The Doerksens
Hollow eyes
Another bus of refugees have arrived. I haven’t seen them yet, but my friend told me that this group was different. They came from some of the towns that are under siege from the Russians, but they managed to escape. When she apologized to them for having to wait a few minutes to get into their apartments that have been rented here for them they just stared blankly saying, “it doesn’t matter.”
Seeing pictures of destroyed cities, hospitals, schools, homes is one thing. Coming face to face with those who have suffered evil, without any provocation whatsoever, is… well heartbreaking seems to trite of a word. One day they were thinking of spring planting that was just around the corner, 20 days later they are refugees in a country with nothing to call their own. We will go and have lunch with them in 30 minutes and try to just be there, help in anyway we can and show them love.
O Lord, when will this evil be stopped. Thy Kingdom com! Thy Will be done as it is in heaven!
